I haven’t seen the pilot for Crossbones, NBC’s expensive-looking pirate drama from Luther creator Neil Cross, but according to critics, it’s not nearly as insane as it could be or kitschy as it should be. Meaning, hammy star John Malkovich isn’t on-screen every second — dude chews scenery the way Macho Man Randy Savage did Slim Jims. Here’s how Slate’s Willa Paskin describes him:
Presumably, John Malkovich could headline a series on HBO. So when you see him in NBC’s Crossbones, strutting around wearing tropical-weight drop-crotch pantaloons in an allegedly 19th-century cabana that looks like a Club Med—except for the flayed corpse where the coffee table should be—know that he must have really, really wanted to play a pirate. (Via)
Screw the critics, how can I resist that? Still not sold? Well:
1. He’s playing Blackbeard, but he has a white beard.
2. This. Always this.
“Say, what are you doing tonight?” “Nothing much, except for checking out this show where MALKOVICH plays a pajama-wearing flamboyant pirate surrounded by clocks.” “COUNT ME IN.”