Here’s a graph from GraphGraph — and who would have seen that coming, really? — that breaks down which syndicated game show, Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune, airs first in various markets around the country. I know what you’re thinking: “There are people who watch Wheel first?” Yes, there are, and they are HEATHEN SCUM. I mean, I don’t discriminate based on race, gender, sexual orientation, or national origin, but if I ever have a child who comes home after his or her first year of college dating a Wheel-firster, that is it. Cut off. For good. WE HAVE RULES IN THIS HOUSE, MISTER OR MISSY. Don’t like it? Fine, go live in your den of sin and watch inferior game shows at 7:00 p.m. like some sort of delinquent. Just don’t expect me to like it or support it.
Or, to put it another way:
Jeopardy First = Springfield
Wheel of Fortune First = Shelbyville