World Cup (ESPN, 5 p.m.) — Ghana vs. U-S-A! I’m already wearing my American flag man thong.
24: Live Another Day (Fox, 9 p.m.) — “Jack and the president work to thwart Margot al-Harazi’s terror attacks.” That is a ridiculous premise. I like it.
The Fosters (ABC Family 9 p.m.) — Season premiere. I’ve heard good things about this show, which follows an interracial lesbian couple, at least for something on ABC Family. Anyone watch it?
Louie (FX, 10 p.m.) — Season finale. Game of Thrones, Orange Is the New Black, Louie, and Fargo — all those shows have already left us, or are about to leave us for another season. I hate TV for being so much fun only to leave me. STOP BEING LIKE MY DAD, TV.
Longmire (A&E, 10 p.m.) — “Walt serves as a judge for a pageant.” OK, but is it a dog pageant?
48 Hours (CBS, 10 p.m.) — This is not the Nick Nolte/Eddie Murphy movie 48 Hrs. F*ck you, CBS.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Whitney Cummings and Angel Olsen on Letterman; Keenan Ivory Wayans and Jennifer Lopez on Fallon; Henry Winkler and Lennon Parham on Ferguson; Wanda Sykes and Piper Perabo on Meyers; Ice Cube on Conan; Howard Schultz on Stewart; and Ta-Nehisi Coates on Colbert.
