“A Google executive was killed by a prostitute. Prostitutes probably have crabs. Crabs live in the ocean. Oceans are where pirates go to work. I got it: LET’S INTERVIEW A PIRATE.” Because a Jack Sparrow impersonator was apparently busy, CNN recently spoke to Alan Vine, the former bassist for Mötley Crüe who was friends with the late Forrest Timothy Hayes and oh yeah he’s also a pirate.
The whole chat makes for great TV, especially when Vine talks about how he “used to party a little bit” and monkeys, but I wish Erin Burnett could’ve made at least one “hookarrrrrrr” joke. Oh well.