Extant (CBS, 9:00 p.m.) – Series premiere. Here’s what I want you to do: Hop in your imaginary time machine, go back to, oh, let’s say 2004, find yourself, and say “Ten years from now Halle Berry and Steven Spielberg will be making a TV show for CBS that premieres in the middle of July.” Then, while 2004 You is trying to process that, steal his wallet. You were such a sucker back then.
Big Brother/So You Think You Can Dance (CBS/Fox, 8:00 p.m.) – I vote we merge these into one show about a house filled with bigoted dancers who have dreams of making it big.
Suits (USA, 9:00 p.m.) – GUYS NOW MIKE IS GOING UP AGAINST HARVEY AND LOUIS WHAT IS GOING ON THE WHOLE FAMILY IS FALLING APART.
The Bridge (FX, 10:00 p.m.) – Season premiere. This season will feature more border drama and less serial killing. Thank God.
Naked & Afraid: Pop-Up Edition (Discovery, 10:00 p.m.) – Get it? GET IT?! POP-UP! LIKE BONERS! ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL! JOKES!
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Lizzy Caplan is on Letterman; Michael Sheen is on Ferguson; Kelly Ripa and Joe Manganiello are on Fallon; and Andy Serkis is on Meyers.
I want more like this!
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