A Former ‘Cake Boss’ Assistant Made This Cake Depicting Buddy Valastro As The ‘Tanked Boss’

Buddy Valastro will no longer be known as the “Cake Boss,” despite his alleged efforts to avoid arrest for a DUI in Manhattan. The TLC star is now the “Tanked Boss,” and his new identity will forever be glazed onto our minds thanks to former Cake Boss assistant Tony Albanese.

Albanese, who creates pop culture-themed cakes and pastries as “The Pastryarch,” posted a short instructional video to his YouTube channel on Saturday. In it, he demonstrates the process of making and baking a “face cake” for humorous (and tasty) effect.

First, you outline the accused, then you apply base colors. That way, the eventual effects of prison life have something to wear down into a weepy, self-soiling mess. The various sugars and tastes will go well with the drunk tank’s usual assortment of bodily fluids.

(Source: YouTube)

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