Abbi and Ilana of Broad City know a little something about the art of sexuality. Ilana keeps it light and loose with a casual partner which leaves open the opportunity for getting it on with other dudes (or her best friend) on the side. Abbi, meanwhile, has gotten nearly close to locking the deal with her hot neighbor. So if your love life could use a boost with Valentine’s Day right around the corner, let two ladies who know a thing or two about romance be your guide through the murky waters of dating and sex.
Have A Baller Bank Account
You know what’s really attractive to the opposite sex? Impressive displays of wealth. Don’t be coy with that $8,000 check or roll of quarters. Let the world know that you’re a serious go-getter, and you’ll have to beat them off with a stick.
Find Your Dream Apartment
Nothing kills the mood like bringing home a date (or that special someone you found right before last call) and your roommate’s freeloading boyfriend is hogging the couch playing video games again. Time to get your own place! Who cares if there’s a bathroom as long as you can fit in a king size bed? Rowr!
Don’t Jinx Yourself
Be confident, but not too confident. Mistakes like buying the extra large box of condoms could end up backfiring in your face and then you’re just stuck with a bunch of condoms and nowhere to put them.
Set Some Ground Rules
Keep in mind that your potential lover might not be sexually comfortable with all of the same things that you’re comfortable with. That’s OK! Keeping an open dialogue is very important. This also applies to anyone who might inadvertently bear witness to your sexual exploits.
A Little Laughter Never Hurt Anybody
Let your partner know that you’re not the type who takes yourself too seriously by making jokes about yourself. You’ll be amazed by how simply telling your significant other that you have prosthetic balls can lighten the mood and get them ready for some lovin’.
Remember That Nobody’s Perfect
Maybe the object of your affections is, say, a sometimes crazy person who ruins peoples nights and eats garbage bagels. So what? You’re not perfect either. Sometimes the biggest roadblock to getting laid is the one you create for yourself by setting standards too high. We all have flaws, and learning to overlook them is key not just to true love, but getting some true lovin’.
Need more advice on getting a little somethin’ somethin’? Tune in for new episodes of Broad City, tonight at 10:30/9:30c on Comedy Central.