Kristen Schaal Spoke Directly To Jon Stewart’s Testicles Last Night Because He’s Been Holding Them Hostage

[protected-iframe id=”773834ae1e15b3569df38926d2547697-60970621-60075864″ info=”https://media.mtvnservices.com/embed/mgid:arc:video:thedailyshow.com:634cedf3-7ee6-4281-b404-1e3a9be1c4c7″ width=”650″ height=”400″ frameborder=”0″]

“Poor caged balls. Your ancestors used to roam free. The wind blowing through your soft fuzzy hair…” — Kristen Schaal to Jon Stewart’s balls

The latest war on masculinity that has men’s groups all fired up and exchanging “why aren’t you in the kitchen?” jokes on private message boards everywhere is the New York City subway cracking down on “manspreading” — when male riders spread their legs and take up two seats. Jon Stewart finds the new “mind the gap” campaign both reasonable and humorous-that-it’s-necessary, so thankfully all us dudes have Kristen Schaal to stand up against this sort of male oppression.

The “sugar tits” reminder is something we all need to hear, but it’s Schaal addressing Jon Stewart’s repressed testicles around the 3:15 mark that really brings the whole thing home. It’s so good Stewart could barely hold it in. Laughter that is, not his ballsack. Do yourself a favor and check out Schaal’s “sugar balls” diagram at the end too.

×