The Americans (FX, 10:00 p.m.) — In the season premiere of this show that ABC is already sort of remaking, Philip and Elizabeth clash over a new set of orders from the Centre with relation to their daughter Paige and, I assume, the possibility of cutting her hair SUPER short.
Arrow (CW, 8:00 p.m.) — Ra’s al Ghul is after Malcom, Ray teams up with Lance, and Diggle and Arsenal try to push Laurel away from her embrace of the Black Canary mantle.
The 100 (CW, 9:00 p.m.) — I fell off of this show after last season but watching the trailer for these last two episodes has caused a stirring within me. And that’s good for you because if I watch this again, it will mean episode teases that are better than: Clarke thinks that she knows how to take Mount Weather. Because that’s this week’s tease.
Empire (FOX, 9:00 p.m.) — Lucious tries to jack another label’s act and Cookie tries to win back Hakeem’s respect by challenging him to a game of roshambo. Some of this is true, but you’re going to have to watch to find out what.
Workaholics (Comedy Central, 10:00 p.m.) — Shower boner lies and swim team drama from years ago fill this half hour of hilariousness.
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (FXX, 10:00 p.m.) — Psycho Pete is freed from the mental hospital causing a rift in the gang over his post-care treatment, while I randomly wonder if we’ll ever see mental patient Rob Thomas again, because he wasn’t crazy, he was just a little… unwell.
My Strange Addiction (TLC, 10:00 p.m.) – Tonight on The Learning Channel, we learn about someone who is addicted to being Madonna. Have they done an episode where someone has to face that they’re addicted to love? How about one where someone is addicted to shoehorning in pop culture references? #RelevantToMyInterests
Suits (USA, 10:00 p.m.) — In the season premiere of America’s most fashion forward drama, Louis becomes abominable now that he knows Mike’s secret (nightly tap lessons) but it’s okay because he does it in a bombass suit.
Broad City (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.) — Abbi goes on a trip while on goof gas at the dentist’s office. There is dancing. Not naked dancing, but dancing.
Man Seeking Woman (FXX, 10:30 p.m.) — Parts start jumping off of Josh in an act of rebellion, a nightclub is visited, and you will learn the secret reason why all of your friends have more success than you do when they go into the night time and try to score the skype handles from the dads of the hot ladies at the dance hall while wearing their wooing clothes and I’ve been in a relationship since I was 20, so the particulars of courtship are a bit foreign to me.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: David Beckham and Elle Macpherson on Kimmel; Viola Davis and Ben Schwartz on Letterman; Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs join Whitney Cummings on The Late Late Show; Oscar Isaac on The Daily Show; and Katherine Heigl and Drew Brees on Conan.