Better Call Saul (10:00 p.m.) – Night two of the season premiere features Saul (err, Jimmy) talking his way out of being dumped dead somewhere in the desert after his latest scheme went south. (It’s good to see that some things never change.) Can we reflect on how great last night’s season premiere was? Cinnabon references, that black and white opening, surprise appearances, and a beat up Suzuki. Vince Gilligan, I’ll follow you anywhere.
Gotham (Fox, 8:00 p.m.) – All those reasons you had for hating your science teacher in high school are validated in tonight’s episode when Gordon and Bullock hunt down a biology teacher who’s been harvesting the glands of his murder victims.
WWE Monday Night Raw (USA, 8:00 p.m.) – The Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns feud is being milked for all it’s worth in the road leading to Fast Lane and someone is supposedly getting their golden ticket into the Hall of Fame.
Celebrity Apprentice (NBC, 8:00 & 9:00 p.m.) – The show revisits its top firings, feuds and fails. I’m pretty sure a clip of that Omarosa chick losing her sh*t in the boardroom will be aired at some point. Another plus, we’re down to the final two contestants so this all should be over soon.
The Originals (CW, 8:00 p.m.) – Vincent (Finn) is still holding a grudge against his brothers for turning their mother into a vampire, Kaleb (Kol) is dealing with his unwanted mortality and Hayley and Jackson (who, as far as we know, haven’t jumped into other people’s bodies and given themselves different names) are still trying to complete those pesky mystical mating rituals.
Mike & Molly (CBS, 8:30 p.m.) – Molly’s asked to change the plot of her novel to focus on a woman who has orgasms that let her travel through time, which, to me, sounds way more interesting than that book about a woman who has orgasms that then lead to conversations with her “inner goddess.”
Sleepy Hollow (Fox, 9:00 p.m.) – Crane’s still pretty bitter about the fact that Thomas Jefferson “unfriended” him a few centuries ago. No matter how bizarre things get on this show, Tom Mison as a resurrected 18th century man using Facebook lingo and trying to figure out what plastic is will never not be funny.
Never Let Me Go (Syfy, 9:00 p.m.) – That weird, mildly depressing book about cloning that we all had to read for freshman seminar in college has been made into a weird, mildly depressing film about cloning that stars Spiderman sans his spandex suit as a guy who bangs Keira Knightley but is really in love with Carey Mulligan.
Scorpion (CBS, 9:00 p.m.) – A team of super geniuses work undercover on a cruise ship to disable some stolen rockets. Hey, no one’s ever accused CBS of creating crime shows that had vaguely realistic story lines.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Jamie Dornan on Fallon; Bill O’Reilly and Kelly Osbourne on Kimmel; Steve Carell on Letterman; Timothy Olyphant on Conan; Ross Mathews joins guest-host Wayne Brady on The Late Late Show; and Bobby Moynihan on Meyers.