‘Sally Goes To College’ And 5 Other Potential ‘Mad Men’ Spin-Offs We’ll Never Get To See

sally

Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner has made it very clear that there will be no Better Call Saul-style spin-off for his show. Very, very clear. Even when AMC offered him a boatload off money to think about maybe giving Sally or Peggy their own series during his contentious contract negotiations a few years ago, he still wouldn’t budge. As a viewer, I recognize that there are two sides to this coin. On one hand, I respect Weiner for sticking to his guns and letting the story he tells in Mad Men speak for itself. On the other hand, nooooooooooo the first of the final seven episodes premieres next month, and then it’s over for good. This will not do at all.

Luckily, there’s nothing preventing us from dreaming, so let’s go ahead and play make-believe for a bit. Here are six spin-offs we’ll never get to see, but would really, really like to.

Title: Sally Goes to College

Sally Draper is 18 and off to pursue higher education and terrorize everyone at West McKinnon University, the fictional exclusive private college in Connecticut she’s chosen to attend. Boys, parties, class (occasionally), Sally is having the time of her life. But one teacher, notoriously tough English professor Helen Peevish, sees great potential in her and is determined to unlock it. Will she reach Sally before Sally gets herself expelled? Tune in to what would basically be the greatest CW show in history to find out.

Title: Sterling’s Golden Years

Roger Sterling is cashing out and leaving Manhattan behind for the sunshine and tanned beauties of South Florida. After selling off his stake in Sterling Cooper, he buys a penthouse in Miami so he can spend the late 1970s and early 1980s cruising up and down South Beach in a convertible. Well hello there, young ladies. Would you like to join him for an afternoon cocktail? (I should probably think up some sort of antagonist or, like, struggle for him, but I kinda don’t want to. Maybe just “alcoholism and the crushing sadness of dying alone.” Too dark?)

Title: Duck Hunting

I literally have nothing for this one other than the title and a note that says “maybe duck sees pete kiss peggy and he gets jealous and shoots him???” Dozens of Emmys.

Title: The Benson Chronicles

benson

Everyone’s favorite mysterious flim flam man hits the road. The man who we once knew as Bob Benson has had his cover blown again, and instead of hanging around Manhattan or Detroit, he’s retiring that identity entirely and taking off for New Orleans. Or maybe Chicago. Or even Paris. He’s not sure. All he knows is that he’s showing up somewhere with two cups of coffee, a cartoonishly-wide smile, and a dream of making it big. And if it doesn’t work out there he’ll pack up and head somewhere else. Who knows, maybe he’ll meet up with Sal and they’ll fall in love and produce a show on the Vegas strip. Anything could happen on The Benson Chronicles.

Title: Olson Rizzo & Partners

Peggy and Stan have had it with all the drama at Sterling Cooper and they decide to open their own boutique ad agency in Manhattan. Will their new venture survive? Will they kill each other? Will they fall in love? Will Stan break down and shave his beard for their inevitable wedding? Maybe, maybe, yes, and NO.

Title: Joanie Holloway: Mean Girl

Prequel.

Joan.

In high school.

Running the school.

Queen Bee.

Like Regina George.

Eye rolls galore.

Would watch.

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