With so many book-to-show changes, and the fact that many plots are caught up with George R.R. Martin’s text, we’re only doing one Game of Thrones recap this season: this one. Please try to talk about last night’s episode, not plot points half a season away (context from the books will be provided as needed, though nothing will be spoiled). Also, each week’s recap will be broken down into (Faith of the) seven questions that need answering, beginning with…
1. Why does Arya want to enter the House of Black and White?
The House of Black and White is the headquarters of the Faceless Men. One of the Many-Faced God worshipers, Jaqen H’ghar, took kindness on Arya when she saved his, Rorge, and Biter’s lives in Season 2, offering to “take care of” three of her enemies in return. Someone being not-awful to Arya is a rarity in her life, and she became fascinated with him. Her original plan was to meet up with Jon Snow at the Wall, but in last season’s finale, she’s told that a boat is traveling toward Braavos, and after dropping a “Valar Morghulis,” she was on her way. Arya entered the Black and White Cookie House to learn the Faceless ways, and also, where else can she go?
2. Why didn’t Brienne straight-up tell Sansa she found Arya?
Think of it this way: All Lady Sansa knows about Brienne is that she was sworn to protect Renly and her mother, and they both died. Were Brienne to say that she found Arya, but oops, she got away, one of two things would have happened. Either Sansa wouldn’t believe her (pics or GTFO), or she’d think Brienne killed her sister. (Unless she already thinks Arya’s dead? It’s hard keeping track of which Stark thinks the other Starks are dead). Either way, she’d rather trust Littlefinger, or at least use him to get what she wants (whatever that is, other than to get the hell away from Tyrion), than set out with this giant stranger and her big-dicked Pod.
3. Who is Bronn married to?
In Season 4, Cersei arranged a marriage between Bronn and Lollys Stokeworth, to get him away from Tyrion. She isn’t the heir to Castle Stokeworth, her sister Falyse is, but to quote the former sellsword, “I think you’re a good person, your sister is a mean person. I’ve been all over the world, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that meanness comes around.” Some “accident” was likely to have befallen Falyse, at least until Jaime F*cking Lannister dropped by. Now Bronn’s got bigger castles and hotter wives to dream of.
4. Why is Ellaria Sand so upset?
Wouldn’t you be if you saw your lover’s eyes squeezed like grapes into wine? Beyond that, Ellaria’s furious that Prince Doran, the gout-ridden head of House Martell and Oberyn’s older brother, refused to let her send pieces of Myrcella to Cersei, one by one, as retaliation for what happened in the Trial by Combat. Lucky for Ellaria, she has the Sand Snakes on her side.
5. Why did Jon Snow refuse to become Jon Stark?
Because he’s an idiot? The slightly longer answer to that is because he’s a proud idiot. Jon’s a member of the Night’s Watch, and he believes in all the responsibilities and obligations that come along with the job (as long as he can still schtup some kissed-by-fire wildlings on the side). So. when Stannis offered him Winterfell, and to shed his bastard last name for “Stark,” he declined, choosing to remain with his Brothers, despite many of them not wanting him there. Sounds like something Ned Stark might have done. Like father, like bastard son.
6. Who the heck wasted their votes on Denys Mallister?
Just as there are men without faces, there are also questions without answers.
7. Does anyone love Dany right now?
Drogon leaves, Rhaegal and Viserion are chained up in the catacombs, and an entire city hissed at her for murdering one of their own. Dany’s approval rating is minimal at this point, among dragons and cat-people alike. She’s not completely alone, though. Daario Naharis would do anything for her, except show us his penis, while the man who loves her most, Ser Jorah, is out wandering the desert, or something. This was actually an interesting episode for the Mormonts. If you’ll recall, Stannis receives a f*ck yeah-inducing note from 10-year-old Lyanna Mormont (named after Ned Stark’s sister) reading, “Bear Island knows but one King, the King in the north whose name is STARK.” She’s Maege’s daughter, and Maege’s brother is the Old Bear, the father of the exiled Ser Jorah. Got it? Never forget, and never forget there’s only one king.
