I’m sure Kevin Spacey is a very nice man, but whoo boy is he ever good at playing terrible people. Whether it’s the psycho John Doe in Se7en, The Usual Suspects‘ Keyser Söze, or his most popular bad guy, Frank Underwood on House of Cards, Spacey is great at being a villain.
As bad as Frank Underwood is, his ambition and drive is to be admired — even if it is sociopathic. If you’re looking to climb to the top of the political ladder — or any ladder really — here are a few Underwood quotes to lead you into battle. Now, you will have to sell your soul and betray everyone around you, but that’s just the cost of admission to The Frank Underwood School of Success.
“Friends make the worst enemies.”
If you value friendship Frank Underwood’s method of success may not be the best path for you. After all, the guy has no qualms about rubbing somebody out — friend, foe, or whatever.
“There is but one rule. Hunt… or be hunted.”
Yeah, yeah, you’ve got to take what’s your’s or somebody will take it from you. But the real message here, is never go hunting with Frank Underwood. I wouldn’t put it past the guy to pull a Dick Cheney hunting accident while out in the woods.
“I’m not going to lie. I despise children. There, I’ve said it.”
Listen, kids are only going to get in the way of you ruthlessly clawing your way to the top. You don’t have to like them, just smile for the photo and pretend.
“Money is the McMansion in Sarasota that falls apart after 10 years. Power is the old stone building that stands for centuries.”
Frank’s a big picture guy. He knows that acquiring power over taking the easy street to money town will bring more in the long run. Plus, Sarasota has the humidity of a gorilla’s armpit in August, so you really should avoid building a McMansion there.
“I have no patience for useless things.”
If it’s not helping Frank get closer to his goal then he’s got no patience for it and it’s going in the trash… or into a shallow grave somewhere in the desert.
“If you don’t like how the table is set, turn over the table.”
Gandhi had a nicer way of saying this with “Be the change you want to see in the world.” But Frank’s a bad-ass from Gaffney, so he’s flipping that table over. How’s that for change?
“We are nothing more or less than what we choose to reveal.”
This one is crucial, whether you want to be the U.S. President and rule the world, or simply aspire to be the manager of Radio Shack and rule the eastern wing of that strip mall next to the Chevy lot. Frank’s point is if you’re on your way to the top, project it.
“I’ll slit her f*cking throat in broad daylight.”
Okay, this Underwood tip is a bit of a miss. Slitting throats is never good, even if the person did threaten to throw your wife under the bus. So, um yeah, don’t do it.
“Never slap a man while he’s chewing tobacco.”
Don’t slap people in general. But what Frank’s getting at here, is that if you go after your rival at the wrong moment it’s going to be especially messy.
“Shake with your right hand, but hold a rock in your left.”
Based on all of Frank’s references to Gaffney, it sounds like a pretty awful place with people constantly spewing out old-timey sayings. But yeah, this one’s a play on Theodore Roosevelt’s “speak softly and carry a big stick” quote, and if it’s good enough for Teddy and Frank it’s good enough for you.
“I’ve always loathed the necessity of sleep. Like death, it puts even the most powerful men on their backs.”
Sleep is essential, but if one is to follow Frank Underwood’s path to world power, it must be looked at as a necessary annoyance rather than the awesome thing that it really is. Get that maximum Underwood five-hour snooze in and then it’s back to steamrolling rivals!
“I pray to myself for myself.”
Frank Underwood is a god, worship him. I mean, believe in yourself… yeah, that.
