Last season on Comedy Central’s Review, Forrest MacNeil, played by Andy Daly, used his discerning nature and critical eye to report on and review some of the signature aspects of life — friendship, adventure, sex, anger, pancakes — but while the ride was thrilling, this apple is large and aching to have another bite taken out of it. As season two debuts tonight at 10/9c, I started to wonder where Forrest MacNeil would take us this time around. And when I wondered that, I decided that I didn’t want to be so passive as to take what was given. Instead, I would write this list of demands for this year’s season of Review.
Greeter
Imagine a job where you’re forced to stand on your feet for eight hours with a fake smile as countless strangers cough on you, and casually expose you to everything from their minor politically incorrect frustrations, to over-shared revelations about afflictions you had previously thought banished from the orb of existence by God’s sweet mercy and penicillin.
Do it while wearing a smock with your name on it. Do it while being expected to take a charge, should someone come at you armed with a pack of pilfered ankle socks and an aversion to authority. I’d like to see how many stars that would get.
Amish Cabinet Maker
If you’re like me and all of your knowledge of the grand Amish tradition comes from Witness and Vanilla Ice reality shows, then you would surely benefit from an episode of Review that sees Forrest pull a reverse-Rumspringa that takes him to Lancaster, Penn. to learn the art of cabinet craft and humble living, submerging himself in the culture before surfacing to tell us what it’s like in a world without the buzzes and beeps of modern technology.
Ultimate Hunting
Due to local ordinances and laws, hunting a human being for sport (or meat) is almost certainly prohibited, but it’s probably a legal grey area if you’re doing it for television, and almost certainly a slap on the wrist if Forrest indulges his primal instincts and finishes his prey, or gives in to his more civilized nature. Naturally, Grant would step in if he chose the former and reared back his blade (he would have a blade to make it more sporting). Until that point, it would be some damn thrilling television. I’d give that five stars, and I’m a Rotten Tomatoes critic, so what I say matters.
Costumed Theme Park Character
I imagine that pretending to be a costumed character is sort of like being a greeter, but you’re constantly inundated by children wanting you to give them hugs and pose for pictures with them while wearing a suit whose innards must feel like the surface of the sun. On the plus side, though, the costume could serve as a passport into the underground world of plushie knife fighting. So, double episode!
Hoarder
I’m a few missed garbage days away from finding out what hoarding is all about, but I’d rather see Forrest go into a carefully cultivated hoarder hive to sniff around and ferret out what it’s like to love an empty toilet paper roll like it’s your child. For he is our avatar in a world of hazard, adventure, pancakes, cocaine, and maybe (hopefully) human hunting!
To see if Forrest takes our suggestions, check out the season premiere of Review tonight at 10/9c on Comedy Central, or on the Comedy Central app!
