A Complete Guide To The Women On ‘Louie’

louie chelsea

FX

Despite being a self-proclaimed “sad fat man,” Louis C.K. has done pretty well for himself in the romantic department. As has the character he plays on Louie, which mercifully returns to FX after a too-long break next Monday, May 5th. (I’ve seen the first two episodes, and don’t worry, despite the hiatus, it’s as good, if weirder, than ever.) As a refresher, let’s take a look at all of Louie’s romantic partners, or women (and one man!) he wishes he was romantically involved with, over the past three seasons.

“Pilot” — Naked Woman (Kathleen Butler)

louie naked woman

FX

Louie’s a pig for looking at this vulnerable woman’s on-display boobs.

“Pilot” — Date (Chelsea Peretti)

chelsea louie

FX

The coffee-cranker makes a perfect escape from the date from hell: she flies away in a helicopter.

“Poker/Divorce” — Young Tammy (Nicole Ehinger)

Nicole Ehinger

FX

She was the “hot sh*t” high school babe; he was the “funny looking” ginger dork.

“Poker/Divorce” — Tammy (Kim Barlow)

Kim Barlow

FX

And now she looks like this.

“So Old/Playdate” — Trisha (Elisabeth Hower)

Elisabeth Hower

FX

This 26-year-old likes ’em old. The looser, the drier, the smellier, the better.

“So Old/Playdate” — Pamela (Pamela Adlon)

pamela louie

FX

The first of many appearances for the female Louie.

“Travel Day/South” — Doreen (Elizabeth Morton)

big fan

FX

She’s a BIG FAN of Louie’s. Just ask her creepy, gun-wielding brother.

“Double Date/Mom” — Jasmine (Ana Kayne)

jasmine louie

FX

Louie and his mom’s wife (yeah, that’s right) share a weirdly flirtatious look. It’s upsetting.

“Bully” — Sandra (Amy Landecker)

louie bully

FX

Louie and Sandra share a cup of piss with sh*t floating in it before he gets embarrassed by YOUTHS.

“Dentist/Tarese” — Tarese (Adepero Oduye)

Tarese

FX

“Suck a dick, son.” Louie follows Tarese home. He doesn’t get what he wants.

“Dentist/Tarese” — Tarese’s Sister (Bonita Elery)

Tarese sister

FX

But he does from Tarese’s sister.

“Gym” — Anchorwoman (Kate Gilligan)

Anchorwoman

FX

Louie fantasizes about asking to have sex with a dirty news anchor who talks like his daughter.

“Night Out” — Lisa (Kelly Deadmon)

Kelly Deadmon

FX

Their date was going great, until Louie revealed he has two kids. “That’s kind of a bummer.”

Around The Web

Featured

This 25-Year-Old Running For Congress Defies Millennial Stereotypes

Crucial Advice About Fear And Adventure From An Amazon Explorer

A Fact-Soaked Odyssey Through Kentucky’s Bourbon Country

This Woman Is Fighting The Stigma Of Sex Work In America In Hopes Of Getting Her Child Back

‘We Went To The Moon In 1969’: How The ‘Even Stevens’ Musical Episode Changed The Disney Channel Forever

M.T. Anderson Correctly Predicted Your ‘Feed’ Back In 2002, Are You Ready To Hear What He Says Is Coming Next?

Kenya’s Massive Ivory Burn Should Light A Fire Under Us All

Returning To The Boston Marathon Offered A Lesson In Facing Fears

Is There More To The Adam Walsh Story?

Stand-Up Comedy Scared The Hell Out Of Me, So I Decided To Give It A Shot

W. Kamau Bell On Joking With The KKK For CNN And Quoting Malcolm X In His New Special

‘The NFL Whole-Heartedly Doesn’t Care About You’: Joey Harrington Offers Real Talk About The NFL Draft Process