Being polite was at once a simple courtesy and one of the cornerstones of civilization. But despite that, Archer has shown us innumerable examples of how not to act toward one-another. As the entity once known as ISIS has gone from espionage to drug smuggling back to espionage and now private investigation, the one thing that’s remained consistent is their terrible behavior toward one another. Spearheaded, of course by ringleader Sterling Archer (H. Jon Benjamin). So, should you need to brush up on some basic etiquette, let the roster of characters from Archer show you how it’s not done.
Make it a point to remember names
Name recognition is one of the pillars of good manners, and a critical faux pas when ignored. While it’s pretty clear that Cheryl Tunt (Judy Greer) has a long history with mental instability, everyone constantly mistaking her first name for Carol eventually took its toll on her — first when she legally changed it to Carol, then a brief stint as Cristal, and later when she reinvented herself as country superstar Cherlene.
Luckily, you won’t have to worry about contributing to someone’s ever-loosening grasp on reality by simply repeating their name once they introduce themselves, a solid technique known as the “meet and repeat” method. There’s a host of tricks to doing this properly, including a simple name-association or basic pneumonic device, even asking them to spell their name has been proven to help lock it in your memory. Though the latter tends not to work as well for Joes and Kims.
Treat others with respect
It’s commonly referred to as ‘the golden rule:’ treat others the way you would like to be treated. Aspects of it can be found in the doctrine of most major religions, it’s a fundamental aspect to human nature and moral primacy, and a key aspect to the creation of a civilized, empathetic society. So, basically, the exact opposite of how Archer treats his butler, Woodhouse (the late George Coe).
That is, unless you enjoy force-feeding bowls of spiderwebs or having course-grade sand rubbed in your eyes. If that’s the case, then go ahead and keep doing you.
Recognize the boundaries of others
It’s important to be aware that not everyone’s idea of being polite is going to line up with yours. People from different cultures all over the world have varying ideas of what they see as a proper way to interact with one-another. Being aware of this will help you avoid any awkward exchanges or the chance you might inadvertently embarrass yourself (or someone else). Much like Dr. Krieger (Lucky Yates) when he proclaims his austerity in the pile of boxes he renames Fort Kickass. Granted, this is probably just his way of getting out of helping Pam (Amber Nash) and Cheryl transfer data to the new servers, but politeness aside, would you really want to approach Krieger while he’s in his box fort?
Be open to someone else’s interests
Sometimes, differences are just going to come down to a matter of personal preference. And if you’re in a relationship with someone (especially if you’re in a relationship with someone), it’s going to involve the inevitable compromise. Naturally, some of these compromises may force you to feign interest in something that may be a bit outside your comfort zone.
Take Lana (Aisha Tyler), who tracks down Cyril (Chris Parnell) using a homing device she’d injected in his body, demanding that he “buy the nastiest, bare-backinest, hard-dickinest, ball-slappiest interracial porn available.” It’s pretty clear that Cyril would’ve been uncomfortable doing this in the first place, but it’s the thought of him having to buy it from the “sweet old Korean lady” who works at the video store that has him completely mortified. And yet, despite all this, Cyril knows what he has to do.
Acknowledge what’s important to others
Just because something may seem trivial or unimportant to you, that doesn’t mean that everyone feels the same way. Being able to acknowledge others when they feel differently is fundamental to good manners. For instance, remember when Pam desperately tried to get everyone at ISIS to fill out their peer review forms to no avail? Sure, some of her coworkers were distracted by rogue agent Lucas Troy (Timothy Olyphant), who was on the loose in Vermont, but others just flat-out ignored her.
Cyril, however, doesn’t let being shot at while half-naked in the snowy wilderness of New England stop him from trying to do his part while evaluating Lana (who’s also being shot at), proving that you can take being courteous a bit too far.
Know your limits
When attending a social event, it’s almost a given that there’s going to be alcohol present. While there’s nothing saying you shouldn’t be able to partake, you’re going to want to make sure you don’t go overboard and run the risk of embarrassing yourself. Events like these are when you’ll most want to keep your wits about you.
Of course, you need to look no further than Archer for evidence on how failing to do so could really make things awkward for you. This may include such social missteps as proclaiming your love to your ex/current girlfriend (although, Archer’s relationship with Lana is an incredibly complicated one). There are other risks involved with too much drinking, like becoming so dependent on alcohol that when you do try and quit you face a cumulative hangover so massive it could potentially be fatal. Although if you do overindulge, you’ll more than likely be reciting a prayer to the patron saint of hangovers, Bloody Mary.
Make a cordial exit
Now that you’ve navigated the finer points of polite social behavior, all that’s really left is for you to make a gracious exit. You could go for a more cordial approach, which would be ideal, or you could take a page from Ray’s book and just cut and run. Sometimes the best way to leave is simply by… leaving.
Honestly, you should be congratulating yourself on making it this far.
