Ashley Tisdale Will Whore Herself Out on 'Sons of Anarchy'

Ashley Tisdale — who most of you probably know best as … er … as the one who is not Blake Lively or Julianne Hough or the one who got naked and used to date Zac Efron — will be in the next season of “Sons of Anarchy.” She’ll play a prostitute, according to THR:

She’ll play Emma Jean, a desirable, high-priced escort who complicates the club’s life as part of a two-episode arc on the drama’s upcoming fifth season. Her episodes will be featured early in the season.

After five minutes of research, I’ve learned that Ashley Tisdale does not smoke, she is clean and sober, she had a nose job for “health reasons,” she has a Bravo reality show coming out soon, and that her boyfriend, Scott Speer, bought her a puppy for her birthday. According to her Twitter account, she also likes to use exclamation points, rarely capitalizes, and enjoys taking pictures of herself with Instagram. All of which is to say, when she tweeted that “Sons of Anarchy” is her favorite show, what she probably meant to Tweet was, “i’ve never seen ‘sons of anarchy’ in my life, but when i first saw the scary guy who plays bobby i peed myself a little!!!! #TizziesLoveAshley ;)”

Those guys are going to eat her for lunch. The transition from High School Musical to SAMCRO is too much. They’re going to break her. After two weeks on set, she’ll have creases her face, smoke two packs a day, and drink whiskey straight from the bottle. And you know what? She’ll be a better woman for it.

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