Sarah Jones is a 27-year-old former Bengals cheerleader and teacher who admitted to sleeping with a 17-year-old student in exchange for a sentence that included no jail time and would not require her to register as a sex offender, and then walked hand-in-hand out of the courthouse with the now 18-year-old young man who has since become her boyfriend, which is all another way of saying GUESS WHO’S GETTING A REALITY SHOW?
According to a well placed insider, 495 Productions, the creators of Jersey Shore, courted the 27-year-old, who finally admitted in a Kentucky court earlier this month that she had sex with the 17-year-old boy after months of vehemently denying any wrongdoing. Now Jones is being given her own reality TV show. [RadarOnline]
Well that certainly seems like an odd thing for her to do, considering she just said this to Dateline like a week ago:
“Yeah, what I did was wrong. And I feel guilty as to what happened and that other people were hurt in this in a sense from our families having to go through this.”
“BUT F-CK OUR FAMILIES WE’RE BUYING MATCHING SPEEDBOATS WITH OUR SWEET SWEET TV MONEY!”
Look, everyone is going to go insane about this, which, know you, fine. I do not like the fact that this lady screwed a teenager and is apparently going to turn it into a big payday any more than the rest of the world, and I really don’t like the fact that there are television executives out there who watched her march down the courthouse steps with her barely legal child lover and thought “THIS IS RATINGS GOLD! HELEN, GET MY CHECKBOOK!,” but there is a very simple solution to prevent this kind of thing from happening: Don’t watch the show. If no one watches it, then it will get low ratings, then the advertising revenue will dry up, then it will get canceled and we can all wipe our hands of the matter. It may be too late to stop this particular travesty from happening, but if it fails miserably then hopefully the morally bankrupt TV people writing the checks will go actual bankrupt, and it will start to cut off the pipeline of this sort of trainwreck television altogether. Boom. Problem solved.
That said, I fully expect this to make it to air, get huge ratings, become a cultural phenomenon, and eventually get spoofed on South Park like Honey Boo Boo but with more spray tan. The whole thing depresses me, and it should depress you, too.
Here’s a video of a reporter getting pooped on by a bird at the World Series. Have a great day.