Life isn’t easy, but of course it’s going to be especially difficult if you have a brain full of glue and melted crayons. Ralph Wiggum may be Springfield Elementary’s biggest nitwit, but there are still some nuggets of wisdom to be learned from his stunted intellect. Mostly: do not do what Ralph does if you want anyone to choo-choo-choose to be around you. As an excuse to celebrate the pride of Chief Wiggum, I’ve rounded up some of Ralph Wiggum’s biggest facepalms from The Simpsons’ incredible run. May his failures guide you through the social minefield that is life.
1. Don’t eat glue. This will alienate you from the social circle every time.
2. Wait for an invitation before touching someone’s open wound.
3. On second thought, don’t do this at all.
4. Make an attempt to remember birthdays and special occasions.
5. So many “don’ts” here.
6. People will judge you on your appearance, so be prepared.
7. Learn to take an interest in the interests of others.
8. Watch what you put in your mouth.
9. Don’t act like a boastful jerk.
10. It’s hard to bounce back from this, so try to avoid it.
Again, be careful with the glue.
