Walter White from Breaking Bad. Wynn Duffy from Justified. Two men who played fast and loose with both the law and morality to rise to power in their local underworld communities. Two men who have a complicated, adversarial relationship with one particular member of law enforcement. Two men who have spent a lot of time in RVs.
“But wait, whose RV was better?” said no one but me on a very slow news day in mid-August. Excellent question, and one worthy of an intense, respectful debate. So, below, I have laid out the case for and against each man’s recreational vehicle. Feel free to throw in your two cents in the comments. We’re talking RVs, people. This is happening. Get involved.
Walter White, Breaking Bad
CASE FOR: Despite being hot and sticky, it was a good place for Walt and Jesse to start their meth business, because they could roll the whole lab out into the middle of the desert where there would be minimal interference. Seeing as they were still a few months away from their superlab, and Walt was still hiding his criminal activity from his wife, this was very important. It was cheap (thanks Combo, sorry Combo’s mom) and functional until it met its demise, and it was a necessary piece of the foundation that their meth empire was built upon.
CASE AGAINST: It was a bullet-ridden rust heap that once left them to die in the desert because it didn’t have a little buzzer or dinger to signify that the key in the ignition was draining the battery, and now it is a 5×5 cube inside a junkyard owned by a weird burnout-looking dude who is super up on his Fourth Amendment rights. Other than that, pretty sweet.
Wynn Duffy, Justified
CASE FOR: Much more luxurious than Walt and Jesse’s RV, which is good because Wynn appears to actually live in his. Has not been stripped of its interior and filled with potentially flammable chemistry supplies. Appears to get either satellite cable or an over-the-air channel that periodically broadcasts women’s tennis.
CASE AGAINST: Everyone seems to know where it is at all times. Good guys, bad guys, everyone. Raylan Givens is always marching through the door without a warrant to pest him about something or threaten him by chucking a bullet at his chest, which is a wee bit problematic because he is often entertaining underworld business associates who are doing things like (a) plotting to set-up their cousin Boyd, or (b) shooting crooked FBI agents in the face from point blank range. Not ideal. One day Raylan’s gonna kick in the door while his underlings are scrubbing brain matter off the blinds, and then what? He’ll wish he had a guy at a junkyard, I bet.
So, it basically boils down to whether you’d prefer to burn fast and bright (and rusty) and get out moments before you get caught, or live in a comfortable Winnebago that gets women’s tennis and is periodically stormed by cowboy-hat-wearing U.S. Marshals. WHO YA GOT?