A performance fartist using the pseudonym “Mr. Methane” didn’t fare well on “Britain’s Got Talent,” where his musical flatulence was too avant-garde for the Philistines in the audience and the judges’ chairs to understand. Yes, your eyes and ears do not deceive you: this REALLY IS a 42-year-old man in a mask and cape farting into a microphone along to Strauss’s “Blue Danube Waltz.”
I can’t help but be humbled by Mr. Methane. You see, everything I write on this blog is essentially just farting into a microphone, but I get to do it in the privacy of my own home. Usually in my underwear. He does it in front of a disgusted audience and handles their scorn like it’s a friendly wave. That takes titanium balls. Kudos to you, sir. This fart noise is for you.