'CSI: Miami' Has Been Forced to Turn in Its Badge and Sunglasses

05.14.12 9 Comments

It’s the end of an era, people.

After 10 seasons and hundreds upon hundreds of cheesy one-liners, CBS has pulled the plug on “CSI: Miami.” I guess you could say … [sunglasses] … it was the cookie-cutterest police procedural ever and its ratings had started to sag so there was really no point in bringing it back. YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! (I am not very good at this.)

Any David Caruso fan wanting to bid farewell to Lt. Horatio Caine will have to rely on sweet memories only: The canceled show already aired its last episode for this season on April 8 and will not resume production just to shoot a special series finale.

On Sunday — almost three months after CSI: Miami wrapped production in Los Angeles– CBS announced that the procedural will not return in the fall. [EW]

How does one eulogize a show like “CSI: Miami”? With a dramatic musical sendoff? No, that doesn’t seem appropriate for a show I watched all of five or six times. Maybe with a huge collection of the dramatic one-liners David Caruso delivered right before the theme song? Hmm, not bad, but that’s been done. Maybe I should post that video some hero made of Justin Bieber getting riddled with bullets during his appearance on the show set to the “Mmmm Whatcha Say” song from when Marissa shot Trey on “The O.C.” (spoiler alert)? Definitely getting closer, but still not quite right.

No, I think I’ll just post the most “CSI: Miami” scene of all time. Beyond being an excuse to blow sh-t up on the beach, it works as a metaphor for the show’s entire run: the speeding SUV is the show itself, recklessly racing along with no regard for logic or nuance; the bomb represents growing apathy amongst the audience, slowly ticking down towards destruction; and David Caruso represents … uh, David Caruso, I guess. It works on so many levels.

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