Charlie Sheen Bravely Confronts Sordid Latex Past

04.15.10 8 years ago 3 Comments

Sometimes it’s appropriate to describe a personality’s divulgence of past struggles as “brave” or “courageous.” This list of struggles includes, but is not limited to, cancer, elephant tramplings, incredibly (incredibly) bad paper cuts, or the popular 1990s computer game Myst.

What isn’t on this list? One’s brave struggle with anthropomorphizing a latex sex doll. In the most recent episode of “Two and a Half Men,” Sheen’s character mentions a past experience with a sex doll. As it turns out, real-life Charlie Sheen waged a courageous battle with having a sex doll and being kind of a creep about it.

A few years back, we’re told, he bought a $6,000 anatomically correct latex girl dressed in a cheerleader’s outfit.

[…] But then came the night when, according to our source, Sheen tried to get two female party companions interested in a foursome with the bouncy cheerleader.

“They couldn’t stop laughing at him,” says the snitch. “Charlie got so mad that he ran the girls out of his house. Then he took a meat cleaver and chopped one of the doll’s hands off.”

How brave! How courageous! Bold! Nuanced! Pretentious! Stalagmite! Dictionary words! Anyway, before you go, be sure to stare at the above picture for a few seconds and keep in mind that he apparently always has a meat cleaver handy.

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