Chuck Lorre — the creator of CBS hits “Two and a Half Men,” “The Big Bang Theory,” “Mike & Molly,” and “Three Farts and a Bike Horn” — places a different witticism at the end of every show he produces. After last night’s episode of “Two and a Half Men,” the card that ran was a dig at Charlie Sheen:
I exercise regularly. I eat moderate amounts of healthy food. I make sure to get plenty of rest. I see my doctor once a year and my dentist twice a year. I floss every night. I’ve had chest x–rays, cardio stress tests, EKG’s and colonoscopies. I see a psychologist and have a variety of hobbies to reduce stress. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I don’t do drugs. I don’t have crazy, reckless sex with strangers.
If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I’m gonna be really pissed.
I think that’s perfectly fair. Lorre created “Two and a Half Men,” and now his cash cow may die because the star is a reckless drug-abusing assh*le. But check out the self-serious finger-wagging Lorre got from TV Guide:
Jeers to Chuck Lorre for biting the hand that feeds him — and his entire crew.
Jeez, Chuck, we know you’re a comedy writer, but on the very same day when the star of your show gave a disturbing interview to Dan Patrick in which he implied he can handle smoking crack “socially,” do you really want to make a joke about his potential death?
Yes. Yes, he should joke about Charlie Sheen dying. And you know why? Because Sheen’s a spoiled piece of sh*t who’s spent the last twenty years doing drugs and abusing women, and if he dies it will be his own fault. Screw Charlie Sheen. The world will be safer without him.