You hear that fluttering thud? That’s the sound of half a million ladies dropping their panties after catching a glimpse of this man picking his nose. Ladies and gentlemen, here is the only guy in America that can dig for nose gold on live television, immediately turn around, and sleep with your wife. IT’S MAGIC. In eight seconds flat, he pulls out a nose goblin, eyes the extraction, and winks at the camera as if to say, “America. I’m coming for your daughters.” And you know what? The son of a bitch pulls it off. He is SMOOTH. For a second there, I wanted to sleep with him. He’s got some kind of Sandy Cohen thing going on there, some seriously suave nose-picking mojo. It’s like it’s his first move, his pick-up line, “Hey baby, let me just remove this snot rocket while you take off your pants.” The Most Interesting Man in the World saw this video, choked on his Dos Equis, threw his hands in the air, and packed his sh*t up.
It’s nose-pickers world, y’all. We’re just renting space.