Ranking All The Times You Felt Sorry For Stevie On ‘Eastbound & Down’

09.08.16 1 year ago

HBO


I suppose you could consider Stevie as Kenny Powers’ sidekick, but usually sidekicks are shown at least a little respect, whereas Stevie Janowski (Steve Little) doesn’t get even a smidge. Throughout Eastbound & Down‘s run (which you can stream on HBO Now), Stevie stumbled from one humiliating low point to the next, all in an attempt to form a friendship with somebody who never wanted to be his friend in the first place. As depraved as Stevie became while under the tutelage of Kenny Powers, it was hard not to occasionally feel sorry for the guy in-between the moments when you were laughing at him.

If there’s anything to be learned from the tragic tale of Stevie, it’s don’t pursue somebody when they’re not worth pursuing. Also, chin prosthetics are a bad idea. In celebration of all those cringe-worthy Stevie moments, let’s rank some of the worst things that befell this doofus of a sidekick.

9. His Never-Ending Humiliation At The Hands Of Kenny Powers

HBO

By all accounts, Stevie’s life was rather respectable before Kenny Powers came strutting back into the halls of Jefferson Davis Middle School. The life of a band teacher might not be a flashy one, but Stevie was liked by his coworkers and remained blissfully unaware of the deplorable path he was about to go down.

From the second that Kenny shoves Stevie over to squeeze next to April at the lunch table, it was all downhill for the guy. Kenny’s first interaction with the guy is humiliating, telling Stevie “I got a lot of memories in my life and sometimes you have to dump the small ones to make room for the bigger ones.” Most people would probably take this as a cue that they’re dealing with an egotistical prick like Powers and they’d move on, but unfortunately, Stevie latches on for approval and begins his downward spiral. From then on, it’s just one pathetic example after the next of Kenny treating him like a piece of human toilet paper.

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