You know how newspapers write obituaries of famous sick people in advance so that when, say, Neil Armstrong passes away, they’re able to finish and post stories as quickly as possible? Well, consider this the Warming Glow version of a pre-written obituary: Former reality TV star, [Wife Swap‘s Alicia Guastaferro], was arrested for prostitution in [New York City] on [Monday]. [She] is more plastic surgery than actual person.
According to TMZ:
According to police, Guastaferro — who appeared on “Swap” back in ’08 — was in a car with a 54-year-old lawyer who was arrested for DWI near Buffalo, NY on August 27.
The lawyer was also busted for providing alcohol to a person under 21 (Alicia) and patronizing a prostitute (also Alicia). The lawyer has since denied any wrongdoing.
According to reports, Alicia told police she’s known the lawyer for 2 years … and he usually pays her between $500 and $700 for sex. (Via)
And the money shot, a term former-teen pageant queen Alicia is all too familiar with:
This isn’t Guastaferro’s first involvement with the law, either (shocking!): back in 2010, she sued ABC, the network that aired Wife Swap, claiming that they made her look like a brat, resulting in FEELINGS damage and a life of prostitution, apparently. They were SUCH MEANIES, YOU GUYS. I mean, what teenager doesn’t get a new present every day under a year-round Christmas tree? (Seriously.) In related news: I’m proposing a bill that would force every beauty pageant contestant to be dunked into a pool of glitter, hairspray, and remorse for five minutes every Tuesday, and if they can’t hold their breath for that long, oh well.