‘Game Of Thrones’ Death Watch: For The Love Of God, Khaleesi, Zig-Zag!

Editor-at-Large
08.09.17 27 Comments

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The Game of Thrones Death Watch is a weekly roundup of who died and who looks like they might be headed for death, written by me, a person who has not read the books and will go a long, long way to make a very stupid joke. This is what we’re doing here. This is not science. Please do not yell at me

Season 7, Episode 4 – “The Spoils of War”

Who Died This Week?

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A whole mess of people

Much has been written about the dragon carnage at the end of this episode. So very much. Understandably so. It’s something that has been promised to us since the three scaly little bastards hatched and, while we’ve gotten little teases so far with random goats and a pit filled with potential assassins, this is the first time we really, truly saw a full-grown one in battlefield action. It was glorious.

But since so much has already been said about it, and since I have very little to add to the discussion that could be considered helpful or useful in any way, allow me to present these four screencaps, with no further analysis.

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I really must insist that you watch this show with the captions on. It adds a whole extra level to things.

“Screaming continues.”

Accurate.

Qyburn’s big stupid crossbow

It has been brought to my attention a number of times now that a big stupid crossbow has actually killed a dragon before. Apparently someone shot an arrow through a dragon’s eye once upon a time and the dragon died and that’s why Qyburn built this one. Ugh. Whatever. Fine. I still think it’s stupid. Just because someone pulled off one miraculous shot one time does not mean a big dumb crossbow is the best way to kill a dragon. That would be like if a football team won a game with a Hail Mary as the clock ran out and then decided that they should just run Hail Marys every play in the next game. Wait. Hold on. That would be kind of awesome. Let’s go with… a different example. That I will think of… later.

In any event, I consider myself validated completely because the dummy made it out of wood and now it’s just a pile of smoking embers.

HBO

Fire burns wood. Dragons breathe fire. Don’t make your dragon-killing superweapon out of wood. Do throw lots of Hail Marys, though. I would like to see that. Thanks.

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