'Game of Thrones' Recap: 'The Prince of Winterfell'

NOTE: I’ll open a SPOILER thread at the bottom of this post’s comments section. Please contain all “upcoming on GoT” talk to there. If you mention something that hasn’t happened on the show yet outside of said thread, you’ll be banned. The only way to be unbanned: giving me all your dragons. No dragons, no dice.

To call “The Prince of Winterfell” the “calm before the storm” episode isn’t giving next week’s Battle of Blackwater Bay enough credit. Instead, let’s call it the “calm before the SH*T GOES DOWN” episode. That seems more befitting of what’s to come.

And really, the best parts of “Prince” were rife with anticipation. While Joffrey’s boasting about how he’s going to scare Stannis on the battlefield, much to Varys’s amusement, Tyrion is busy planning the damn thing. With no help from books or Bronn, either. The Lannisters are hopelessly outnumbered, and it’s up to him to figure out a way to win. Meanwhile, Jon Snow, reunited with Halfhand, can only imagine horrific scenes of where he’s going; Dany convinces Ser Jorah to take her to the House of the Undying; and the ever awesome Arya escapes Harrenhal with Gendy and Hot Pie, unsure of what to do, but knowing that she must do it.

“Prince” wasn’t the most exciting episode of the season, but, well sh*t’s about to go down.

  • You’re wrong, Yara: Theon is still a terrible baby.
  • I wonder how the Lord of Bones got his nickname? Hot Pie, too.
  • Cat’s a grieving mother, sure, and not knowing the fate of your children is the worst thing in the world, but she shouldn’t have “freed” the Kingslayer like that. Now, the Starks don’t have a bargaining chip AND Robb’s so pissed that he breaks his promise to the Freys by having floor sex with Talisa. Well, that’s probably not the ONLY reason he had sex with Talisa, but his boner-over-brain decision will likely have repercussions down the line…
  • No bridge is better than Oona Chaplin.
  • All that being said, the Adventures of Brienne and Jaime have begun, and that’s a very good thing.
  • Who knew Bronn was such a diva with his fingernails?
  • Lamprey pie looks horrid.
  • Tyrion’s scene with Cersei was wonderfully played by both actors. Theirs is a f*cked up sibling rivalry, and poor Ros is stuck in the middle, with no choice but to be lashed and beaten by her guards.
  • “What kind of king do you want to be?” “I don’t know. The good kind?” Strong words there, Robb.
  • Happy to see Stannis and Davos again. Some relevant backstory was explained (like how Davos became the Onion Knight and why Stannis is so pissed off at his brothers), and I could honestly listen to Davos talk all day. His is a voice that demands attention.
  • “The Lord of Light wants his enemies burnt, the Drowned God wants them drowned. Why are all the Gods such vicious c*nts? Where’s the God of Tits and Wine?” Line of the millenium.
  • In case you need another reason to be excited for next week, “Blackwater” was written by George R.R. Martin.
  • Attractive Women of “Game of Thrones” Power Rankings: #5. Daenerys (dropped because her story has been so boring lately), #4. Shae, #3. Cersei, #2. Ygriette, #1. Talisa

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