You know that scene in old spy movies where a supervillain takes over every channel on television to broadcast his demands or terrify the populace into giving him what he wants? The one that usually starts with the supervillain’s face suddenly appearing on like 10 TVs in the storefront of a local electronics store, and then cuts to a suburban living room where a frustrated dad is putting down the newspaper, saying “Hey, what’s going on here?,” and whacking the side of the television and/or trying to adjust the bunny ears to get to the Dodgers game back on the screen? That’s what this GIF of Wolf Blitzer reminds me of. Especially the way he raises his eyes to the camera at the very last moment. It looks like he’s about to curl his lips into an evil smile and explain that he has a space laser pointed at the White House, and he’s prepared to use it if we don’t wire him a large sum of untraceable money.
He even looks like a supervillain. The white hair, the glasses, the stern expression, the finely-trimmed facial hair. And his name! We don’t make a huge deal out of it anymore because we’ve all gotten used to having a man named “Wolf Blitzer” in our lives, but that is one hell of a supervillain name. It’s almost too good. Like, if he didn’t exist and you were writing a James Bond screenplay and made the antagonist’s name Wolf Blitzer, I bet someone would make you change it. “Too on the nose,” they’d say. “Maybe consider something a little more subtle, like Rex Switchblade, or General Adolf Von Dastardly.” You’d pout, but you’d eventually agree.
Point being, Wolf Blitzer must be stopped.
(GIF via @michaelhayes)