Oh great. Now she’s doing her Mickey Rooney from Breakfast at Tiffany’s impression. How much time does it take for someone to apologize for “using the N-word [ed. note: nougat?] and wanting black waiters to play the role of slaves at a wedding party she was putting together”? Forty-six seconds, apparently. That’s how long real-life Mom from Futurama Paula Deen’s crocodile tears video clocks in at. She begs “my children, my team, my fans, my partners” for her forgiveness, for “the mistakes that I’ve made.” I forgive you, Paula. It’s all a misunderstanding.
Because you have A Black Friend.
(UPDATE: Paula’s first apology video was taken down. A second video has since been uploaded and is embedded below. This whole thing is like the offspring of a trainwreck and a grease fire.
(UPDATE #2: All that apologizing couldn’t save Paula’s fat ass: Food Network announced this afternoon that they will not renew her contract.