Perhaps you, Internet user, have always had a desire to go on a helicopter ride to a wolf sanctuary with Game of Thrones author George R.R. Martin. I’m not here to judge. It’s your dream. And now, with a little luck, it could be become a reality, as Martin is offering exactly that thing as the grand prize in a new fundraiser.
It’s George R.R. Martin, and I’m here to raise money for the Wild Spirit Wolf Sanctuary and The Food Depot of Santa Fe.
If you make a small donation to my campaign, you will automatically be entered to win an incredible experience. You and a friend will be flown out (from wherever you are in the world) to meet me in Santa Fé, where we’ll share a helicopter ride to the Wild Spirit Wolf Sanctuary.
In addition to touring the Sanctuary together, we’ll also have plenty of time to discuss the show, A Song of Ice and Fire, direwolves – and if there’s anything you have ever wanted to ask me, here’s your chance!
Thank you for supporting my campaign. I look forward to meeting one of you!
– George R.R. Martin
Not for nothing, but “a helicopter ride to a wolf sanctuary with George R.R. Martin” sounds a little like a threat, given what we know about the fates of many of our favorite characters of his. “Quit eyein’ up my girl or I swear to God I’ll send you and all your friends on a helicopter ride to a wolf sanctuary with George R.R. Martin!” See?
But anyway, yes, this is for a good cause, provided you support (a) the housing of rescued wolves who don’t have the skills to survive in the wild, and (b) an organization that distributes food to organizations that provide 500,000 meals per month to hungry residents of New Mexico, so kudos to Martin for using his name for good.
Now about the other prizes…
So, a couple things:
1) Wait. Hold on. He’ll put you in one of the books for $20,000? Like, in one of the books? As a character? Because $20,000 is a lot, but it’s not “a lot” a lot. There are a bunch of people who have $20,000 lying around, many of them with very notable, newsworthy names. And it doesn’t say there’s a limit on the number people who can earn that prize, either. If they were so inclined, the seventh Game of Thrones book could conceivably contain a sentence like “LeBron James rode into Westeros that morning with his trusty sidekicks Jennifer Lopez and George W. Bush, ready for battle.” That would be hilarious.
2) ONLY $7,500 FOR GEORGE R.R. MARTIN’S “WORN HAT”? Well, it appears I have buried the lede here spectacularly.