Hey Netflix, Here’s Why You Should Release ‘House Of Cards’ Today

02.13.14 4 years ago 9 Comments

house of cards

The weather outside is frightful and…no, that’s it. The weather outside is frightful, period.

The latest winter storm has shutdown much of Washington D.C. and paralyzed large parts of the South, including most of Georgia and the Carolinas. At least 14 people have died in the storm, and approximately 400,000 are without power.

Thousands of flights have been cancelled, and runways at Dulles and National airports in D.C. are closed. Schools are closed throughout the South and on much of the east coast, though not in New York City. Except for essential employees, the federal government is closed today, as are several state and city governments, including Atlanta’s. States of emergency have been declared in Georgia, North Carolina, and South Carolina. (Via)

Hundreds of thousands of people are trapped in their homes with nothing to do other than watch TV, if they have power, or remember what it was like to watch TV, if they don’t. If I were Netflix CEO Reed Hastings, I’d take note of all these stranded subscribers, run down to the Netflix printing press, yell, “STOP THE PRESSES,” then have your team of Netflixologists find a way to release House of Cards season two ASAP.

(I’m pretty sure that’s how the Internet works.)

It’s scheduled to come out tomorrow — why not have it be LIBERATED today? This would accomplish three things: 1) Give bored people something to do, 2) decrease the number of fights during Valentine’s Day dinner over “are you listening to me, or are you thinking about Kate Mara again?” and 3) let binge-watchers have an extra day to blaze through the 13-episode season before they have to have their FINAL OPINION on Monday. It’s a win-win: Netflix’s streaming traffic would be ridiculous, and we’d get to appreciate the irony of House of Cards being released the day Washington D.C. is shut down.

Now, where’s the closest rib joint that delivers…?

spacey ribs hungry

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