This video of hand model Ellen Sirot on CBS News was everywhere yesterday, and for good reason: her single-minded dedication to hand modeling has made her completely insane. Here was my face for three minutes while I watched this:
“I’m incredibly protective. I view my hands like elite athletes. And so everything I do is to protect them from being in any jeopardy or any danger in any way. So for me that means no cooking, no cleaning, no taking out the garbage, no opening cans, no opening windows, no opening doors, no gardening no sports… My whole life is dedicated to the care and protection of these hands. […] These hands have not seen the sunlight in about 15 years. I wear gloves all day, every day.”
Not to quibble, but elite athletes actually, you know, DO things. It would be more accurate to say that she views her hands like Fabergé eggs. And what kind of moron hurts her hand opening a door? I bet she uses her career as an excuse to not give handjobs.