Here Are Some Very ‘Important’ Questions We Have About ‘House Of Cards’ Season 3

03.07.15 3 years ago 16 Comments
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WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW… obviously

It’s been about a week since the season premiere of House of Cards. After binging through the season, you may have some sensible questions regarding the Underwoood’s marriage, President FU’s re-election chances, or how exactly Doug pulled off the night with the physical therapist. I won’t be talking about any of that, but there were some other points that seemed to be worth addressing.

You need Alzheimer’s to hear Frank Underwood talking to the audience?

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One of Frank’s chats to the camera was interrupted because a SCOTUS Justice with onset Alzheimer’s could hear some of it. Clearly this means once it fully sets in, you’ll be able to comprehend the talks (not unlike Angelica talking to the babies on Rugrats), though I imagine there would be some drawbacks…

Is there a better beverage to enjoy by needle than bourbon?

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To be clear, ingesting a drink via needle probably isn’t the most convenient way to enjoy you beverage. But if you’re gonna do it, better to use something you’re not going to gulp down quickly.

Are shawls really that strong?

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I may have not been aware of how strong shawls were in regards to holding up body weight. I may have also tried to test this theory out with a similar article of clothing. Moving on…

What would it take for you to fake having an STD?

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Gavin was under a lot of pressure from the CIA to lie to Lisa about his condition. My threshold however would be much lower. Someone could offer a free meal, and not even from a fancy restaurant. I’d probably do it for a hoagie.

Is caring for Cashew a fair exchange for such a betrayal?

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Of course it is.

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