The 66th Primetime Emmy Award nominees will be announced this Thursday morning, July 10th. PREPARE TO BE DISAPPOINTED. If we, the creeps of the Internet, were tasked with choosing who deserves an Emmy, the nominee ballots would look very different than they did last year. Out: The Big Bang Theory and Modern Family; in: Review, Broad City, and Walton Goggins. So before Thursday comes and Jim Parsons gets nominated over Danny McBride AGAIN, let’s list our dream Emmy nominees. The only criteria: they have to appear on an official Emmy ballot, which is why — SPOILER — you won’t see Game of Thrones in the writing category.
(Note: names and shows aren’t ranked in any particular order.)
Outstanding Comedy Series
2. Brooklyn Nine-Nine
4. Parks and Recreation
5. Orange Is the New Black
What Will Win: Modern Family, probably.
What Should Win: Louie and Orange Is the New Black could just as easily appear in the Drama categories, but they’re classified as a Comedy, despite entire episodes of Louie going by without a gut-busting laugh. That being said, very few seasons of TV have ever been as ambitious as what Louis C.K. got away with it, and even if it’s not a “comedy” in the strictest sense, Louie deserves to break up Modern Family‘s streak of mediocrity.
Outstanding Drama Series
1. Breaking Bad
2. True Detective
3. Mad Men
5. The Americans
6. Game of Thrones
What Will Win: Breaking Bad.
What Should Win: You can try to convince yourself that True Detective might pull off an upset, but it’s exceedingly likely Breaking Bad will go home with as much gold as Albuquerque has table side guacamole. Deservedly so.
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
1. Adam Scott — Parks and Recreation
2. Danny McBride — Eastbound & Down
3. Chris Messina — The Mindy Project
4. Andy Daly — Review
5. Louis C.K. — Louie
6. Christopher Meloni — Surviving Jack
Who Will Win: Jim Parsons
Who Should Win: It’s rare that actors on cancelled shows ever get Emmy love, but if anyone deserves it, it’s Christopher Meloni, who was absurdly funny on the gone-too-soon Surviving Jack.
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
1. Zooey Deschanel — New Girl
2. Julia Louis-Dreyfus — Veep
3. Amy Poehler — Parks and Recreation
4. Ilana Glazer — Broad City
5. Anna Faris — Mom
6. Emmy Rossum — Shameless
Who Will Win: Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Who Should Win: Julia Louis-Dreyfus. SHE GOT A HAIRCUT SHE’S SO METHOD. (Also, no one delivers such acidic lines with as much passion as JLD does.)