Seventeen years ago today, at 10 P.M. Eastern time, the first episode of South Park aired, and life as we know it was never the same again. These days, there are dozens of envelope-pushing cartoons on basic cable, but at the time, South Park‘s willingness to be unrelentingly honest and vulgar was truly shocking. Let’s celebrate this glorious anniversary by looking at some of South Park‘s best secondary characters. Some characters on this list have larger roles than others. The only characters I excluded were Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, and Butters, because he’s basically the fifth lead at this point. Now then – the 17 best secondary characters in South Park history.
17. Ms. Choksondik
I remember watching the “4th Grade” episode when it originally aired when I was 10 (my parents were cool like that). I laughed harder at this character’s name than I had at anything else before in my life. I’m not sure I’ve laughed that hard since then, either. Admittedly, Ms. Choksondik didn’t have that much else going for her, but she hardly needed it.
16. Mr. Slave
Mr. Slave could have just been a one-time character whose only purpose was to make Mr. Garrison even more outrageous, but luckily he stuck around. By the time he managed fit all of Paris Hilton into his rectum (that’s actually what happened), his place in South Park history was assured.
15. Tweek
I could have put him higher on this list, but that is way too much pressure!
14. Lemmiwinks
Sure, he was only in two episodes, but his adventures getting out of Mr. Slave’s ass, and doing battle with Wikileaks (who is also a gerbil) ensured that he would be in our hearts forever.
13. Sergeant Yates
It took a long time for this character to earn the fans’ love — we couldn’t look past the fact that he wasn’t Officer Barbrady — but in time, he became one of the most consistently funny characters on the show. The episode where he enters into a prostitution sting and doesn’t reveal his identity until he’d already been married to his pimp for several years cracks me up every time.
12. Butter’s Parents
Ok, I decided to exclude Butter’s from the list because while he’s not part of the main four characters, he is around a LOT, to the point where he’s basically a primary character. But his parents get consideration for all the hell they put poor Butters through. It’s not enough that they ground him all the time, there was also the time when Butters’ mom tried to kill him. Maybe that episode was non-canon, but it’s still there in all our nightmares!
11-10. (tie) Clyde/Craig
Neither of these characters had the most personality, but they were always around when you needed them. Craig gets the edge because he had a little bit of a temper. Remember when he kept flipping Tweek off?!
9. Big Gay Al
Big Gay Al may have only appeared in a few episodes, but he had a (Big Gay) impact! Plus, he was one of the funnier parts of South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut. Who doesn’t know all the words to “I’m Super?”
8. Token
His name alone shows you just how blunt Matt & Trey are willing to be. In one episode, it was suggested that his last name is Williams, but later on, he would simply be known as Token Black. We find out he’s the richest kid in town — and he’s a bit lonely — and that his natural ability to play bass is a source of irritation (why do Cartman’s stereotypes always have to be right?!).
7. Wendy
Wendy might not be the funniest character on the show (although her boy band audition was a moment for the ages) — but that’s not why she’s here. Her job is to point out how messed up everyone else — especially Cartman — is, and be this miserable town’s lone voice of reason. That, and make Stan throw up whenever he sees her.
6. Jimmy
Jimmy initially entered the show as just a rival for Timmy, but eventually developed into a strong character in his own right. His speech impediment gets played for laughs (“Stan says you’re a cont-“), but he also feels as human as any character on the show, with a genuine desire to brighten people’s days through laughter.
5. Timmy
Rarely has a character who can only say his own name taught us so much. The fact that Timmy is able to express so many emotions without the ability to articulate them verbally is a credit to how intelligent the writing on this show can be. As with Jimmy, you could be cynical and just look at the character as poking fun at disabled people, but really, can you name a show that has two disabled characters who both have such well-developed character traits? South Park is more progressive than many people give it credit for!
4. Officer Barbrady
Sure, he’s grossly incompetent, and often quite rude. But when Barbrady needed to learn to read so he could catch the Chickenlover, we were all rooting for him. Also, we really need to see more of him in newer episodes.
3. Randy Marsh
In the early years, Randy was more of a straight man, but as time went on, he just got wilder and wilder. From his time taking on the Bat Dad (and freeing the boys from a boring summer of baseball), to his failed attempts to be a Food Network star, to his ill-fated run as the creator of Sarcastaball, Randy has been the funniest of any of the parent characters, and one of the funniest characters on the entire show.
2. Mr. Garrison
Throughout the course of South Park‘s run, Mr. Garrison has been a straight guy with a homophobic streak, a gay man (who was in denial before), a trans woman (who once again had a homophobic streak), a trans lesbian who got it on with Xerxes, and finally back to being a straight guy. There was also the affair with Richard Dawkins. I don’t know if I’d go so far as to call him progressive, since he was also the source of many crude jokes, but he’s probably the most gender fluid character we’ve ever seen on television. Plus, he’s just freaking hilarious.
1. Chef
Chef didn’t just sing about wanting to jingle your bells and fa-la-la your la, he also taught us important life lessons, and was the heart of the show in its early years. That’s why it’s such a bummer that that fruity little club scrambled his brains. The show is still great, but Chef’s presence is sorely missed. So, the least we can do is name Chef the greatest secondary character in South Park history, and mourn the fact that we’ll never get to enjoy his Salisbury steak again.
