Jimmy Kimmel’s ‘Lie Witness News’ Convinced People Hillary Clinton Had An Affair With Anthony Weiner

11.01.16 1 month ago

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When FBI Director James B. Comey announced the discovery of new emails pertaining to his agency’s previous investigation of Hillary Clinton’s private email server, the “Friday news dump” cycle went into overdrive. When a subsequent report named devices once owned by disgraced politician Anthony Weiner as the emails’ source, the news cycle imploded and everyone lost their minds. Comedians, meanwhile, found some much needed solace (and material) in the matter — including talk show host Jimmy Kimmel, who dedicated Monday’s “Lie Witness News” segment to the investigation.

Actually, Jimmy Kimmel Live! merely used the recharged Clinton email scandal as a template. What “Lie Witness News” actually did was find interviewees willing to accept and discuss an alleged affair between Clinton and Weiner, the estranged husband of aide Huma Abedin. “To see how closely people have been following this,” explained Kimmel while dressed in a bald eagle costume, “we asked people what they thought of the steamy email exchange between Hillary Clinton and Anthony Weiner.”

Like this totally believable Clinton/Weiner interaction:

WEINER: “I’d love to put my weiner in a hill of your beans right now”

CLINTON: “Let’s slap some mustard on that kielbasa”

For good measure, Kimmel’s “Lie Witness News” correspondent threw in a silly joke about Weiner’s “elderly, beleaguered mother Anita Weiner,” who allegedly went public to defend her son. The hope was anyone asked to respond to Anita’s predicament on camera would say her full, fictitious name. The women included didn’t, but the unintentional hilarity of her otherwise honest statement speaks volumes: “Anita, I can feel your pain.”

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