“Ice to meet you” — the U.S. right now, because everyone’s too damn cold to think of anything better than Batman & Robin puns.
Yes, it’s approximately negative-nine degrees outside, everywhere except for Satan’s toasty bunghole, Florida, which can only mean one thing: time to blast the Foreigner. Also, WE BEAT GLOBAL WARMING. See you in Hell, An Inconvenient Truth (chucks book into fireplace). I love the smell of crisp Gore in the morning. That’s science, according to the top scientific minds at Fox News, because science.
But last night on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart took them to task, stating that just because something is “your f*cking opinion” doesn’t mean it’s a fact. Well, MY science tells me that clouds are ice cream and it rains cookie dough now.
Damn, guess he’s right.