HBO confirmed last night that Lindsay Lohan will appear in the upcoming final season of Eastbound & Down as “the daughter of one of the show’s main characters” in “a wedding scene set many years in the future.” Seeing as the show really only has two main characters (Kenny and Stevie, maybe April if we’re stretching the definition of “main”), there wasn’t a whole lot of mystery packed in that confirmation to begin with, but just to be safe TMZ checked in with one of the drones — unmanned flying device or slurpee-brained human TMZ employee, your choice — they have circling Lohan at all times and got an answer.
SPOILER ALERT: sources close to production tell us, Lindsay signed on to play the adult version of Kenny’s illegitimate daughter on the HBO series finale … and she’s currently filming on set in North Carolina.
Kenny’s baby seemed destined to become Lindsay Lohan. If you recall, Kenny stashed his bong and all sorts of sex toys in the baby’s room at the end of last season.
Now, we should probably take this with a grain of salt, if only because the very next sentence after their big casting scoop is “Kenny’s baby seemed destined to become Lindsay Lohan,” even though said baby was a boy named Toby who Kenny referred to as his son repeatedly during the most recent season. So there’s that. But assuming Lohan’s character is a different illegitimate child Kenny had over the years, then, yeah, this is pretty perfect casting. The only problem is that now we all know and the potential fun of the “HAHAHA THAT’S LINDSAY LOHAN AS KENNY’S DAUGHTER HAHAHA” moment is a little diluted. I recognize my role in this situation, and I apologize.