“HOLD HER DAMN HAND, LOUIE.” I didn’t actually say that while watching Louie last night, but I was think-screaming it. Everything before that moment in the park had been going so perfectly for Louie and Amia; they couldn’t understand each other, but some things don’t need translation, like drug store charades and eating fish heads. But then Louie doesn’t hold her hand and later on, he dejectedly leaves Amia and Ivanka’s apartment before hearing what she had to say, and I was afraid the big lug blew it.
Until, after a baseball bat meltdown, she shows up at his door, and agrees to have dinner with him. She’s only going to be in the States for a month longer, anyway, so why not? It’s an interesting dilemma that “Elevator” has set up for Louie and for us: would you spend time with this new woman who you know is going to be leaving you soon, or would you take a chance on literal kick-in-the-ass Pamela, who’s back from Europe, looking as tiny as ever, and is ready to give this boy/girl THING (gross) a shot?
Honestly, I don’t know what Louie should do, and that’s why I’m loving the “Elevator” arc. It’s not as funny as, say, “Never,” but it’s gorgeously shot and performed (props to Jane, who know that Sally Draper is a husky-voiced teen, might be the most impressive child actress on TV; notice how long her park bench conversation with Louie goes by without a cut), and it’s set up what should be a happy outcome, but because this is Louie, it will end in tragedy. What I’m saying is, the CKs are going to Hungary!
Either that, or Louie will realize he’s not meant to be with a woman who doesn’t call him out on his sh*t, and he’ll slink back into self-destructive relationships. One of the two. Now your do’s/don’ts.
“Elevator (Pt. 2)”
1. Do one-up your object of affection’s pie with a huge gift basket.
2. Do think everyone you go to school or work with is an idiot, because they probably are.
3. Don’t send your kids to private school if you’re worried about them living in a privileged “egg.”
4. Don’t make your first date an eating an entire fish date.
5. DO HOLD HER DAMN HAND.
“Elevator (Pt. 3)”
6. Don’t sit on your bro’s couch while wearing the smallest towel imaginable.
7. Do say greetings to someone you haven’t seen in awhile with, “Hi, stupid asshole.”
8. Don’t interpret “talk constructively” as “look at your cellphones and say nothing.”
9. Do wait to hear EVERYTHING someone has to say, especially when you’re wooing her.
10. Do listen to doctors walking three-legged dogs.
