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It is currently 1:00 p.m. Eastern Time on an otherwise nondescript Wednesday in October. This is what Louis C.K. has been up to for the past hour.
https://twitter.com/louisck/status/519877621929480193
https://twitter.com/louisck/status/519878355907534849
https://twitter.com/louisck/status/519885535016677376
Quick pause. Let’s recap where we are so far: Thousands and thousands — and possibly millions or billions — of years ago, there was a race of “very us-y people-things” living on Mars, and when global warming started to render their planet unlivable, they all — or at least many, many of them — traveled from Mars to Mars’s nearest moon and proceeded to drive that moon to Earth like an RV.
Still with us? Okay, moving on.
https://twitter.com/louisck/status/519885750339641344
R.I.P., billions of Martian people-y types.
https://twitter.com/louisck/status/519886219552231426
https://twitter.com/louisck/status/519886286052937728
Okay, that settles it. We have got to get Louis on Season 2 of Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey. Someone get deGrasse Tyson on the phone.
UPDATE: Louis is back at it. Now the sun is involved. And things have taken a, uh, turn…
https://twitter.com/louisck/status/519899055254937601
https://twitter.com/louisck/status/519899350978527233
https://twitter.com/louisck/status/519903092679008256
https://twitter.com/louisck/status/519903950988791809
https://twitter.com/louisck/status/519904582001246208
https://twitter.com/louisck/status/519905022520623105
https://twitter.com/louisck/status/519905278674751488
So Louis is high as hell right now, right?
https://twitter.com/louisck/status/519905355073990657
Oh. Never mind.
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I can always spot the musings of a fellow stoner…
I am pretty sure that a civilization that was technologically advanced enough to move an entire moon would be smart enough to avoid crashing it upon arrival…you know what? I take it back. Humans are fairly advanced and we crash things all the time.
Well, it’s more accurate than what they teach in Texas schools.
They teach evolution in Texas schools, numb nuts
It’s ok, I don’t know what jokes are, either.
Boom
Texans are idiots. Not even making a joke, just a general observation.
Can a fact be an observation?
Nevermind. You’re observing a fact.
Good lord, the Scientologist got to Louie C.K.
This series of tweets will be the reason marijuana is legalized nationwide in the next 5 years.
Louis C.K. is on drugs.
Well, he is in New Orleans right now.
That explains it. These are very absinthe-ish musings.
His wife must have the kids for the day, and he must have the bong. Enjoy!
whoops *ex-wife
Louis CK will be on an episode of Ancient Aliens or I will eat my hat.
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Ya mean you’ll eat your touque, right?
ah dammit Scientologists, why you gotta ruin everyone?
Um, no. Doesn’t he watch Doctor Who? The moon is an egg now.
with bacteria spiders
The moon was always an egg.
+100
Stephen Root has him on that goofy gas again.
bullshit, Louie, these are the classic ramblings of a high person before their 3D movie starts.
I think Louie here is doing some George Carlin-eqsue stuff. Louie is a huge Carlin fan and in his books, Carlin had a lot of weird shit like this that he’d write about, regarding any topic, in between all the jokes and routines we’re all familiar with. And not simple “one-off” sentences either. He’d get really into it like Louie’s doing here.
It is pretty similar to those
Don’t drink and drive. Also, don’t trip and tweet.
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“Mission To Mars” HAS been running a lot on Starz lately…..
These tweets sorta recap it’s plot line…..
If only Mars had a molten iron core……so much would be different…..
I *WISH* I could get that high.
I too love watching Cosmos and getting stoned.
So he was high really late lastnight and he stumbled across the lunar eclipse and now he’s tweeting the notes he took?
Did he eat a hit of acid?
But Earth is Warmer than Mars.
Eskimos are us-y people things….
if tila tequila posted that everybody would be saying she’s a stupid fool.
modern society is full of dickheads.