This is a commercial for Jublia, a prescription medicine used to treat toenail fungus. It stars Mario Lopez. Perhaps you’ve seen it. If not, please take a moment to watch it. Actually, even those of you who have seen it already should probably watch it again. Really soak it all in. This is really something.
The plot, if I understand it, is as follows: An actress exits her limousine and steps onto the Red Carpet of what appears to be some sort of high-end awards show — Oscars, Emmys, etc. Mario Lopez, there in the Seacrest role, starts to introduce her only to immediately abandon all rules of professionalism — and polite society, in general — by turning to the camera and shouting “Toenail fungus?!” when he notices the large graphic appear directly above her feet. Let’s briefly pause here to note Mario Lopez’s delivery of this line. It is incredible. I choose to believe they made him audition against other E!-type hosts and this line reading is what got him the job. Kelly Osbourne ain’t giving you that performance. Believe that.
Moving on. After the toenail fungus shows up, a giant anthropomorphic foot that is wearing a purple fedora and bow tie on his big toe, which is also his face, dramatically removes his sunglasses and springs into action, throwing the Toenail Fungus graphic down the Red Carpet and effectively removing it from the proceedings. Mario Lopez, impressed, exclaims, “Oh, epic move, Big J,” and then poses for cameras with the heroic fedora-wearing foot while suggesting the home viewers talk to their doctors about Jublia. Please accept this screencap as proof that none of us are hallucinating right now.
All of this — and I do mean all of it — raises a remarkable amount of questions. I’m sure you have some. God knows I do. Let’s tick off a few of the biggies.