Morgan Freeman as a Bubble Bath-Taking Dracula, and the Rest of the Golden Globes

Not well, Joey. Not well.

If there’s one thing we learned about the Hollywood Foreign Press during last night’s Golden Globes, it’s that they HATE comedy. How else to explain acting trophies going to Matt LeBlanc for having a big dick in “Episodes” and Laura Dern for pretending “Enlightened” isn’t a drama, rather than Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey/Amy Poehler? (Not to mention all those who weren’t even nominated, like Charlie Day, etc. etc. etc.) An overrated season of “Modern Family” won for Best Comedy, too, furthering the show’s status as the New “Frasier.”

Speaking of: Kelsey Grammer took home the award for Best Actor in a Drama for his role in “Boss,” providing thousands of “Frasier” fansites their headline for the day, while the much-deserved Claire Danes spied on, then snagged a Best Actress trophy for “Homeland,” which also won Best Drama.

It’s total BS that “Breaking Bad” wasn’t nominated (and that Bryan Cranston didn’t win), but “Homeland” was fantastic, Showtime’s first HBO-level series. The only other series I would have liked to have won, “Game of Thrones,” got an award elsewhere: PETER DINKLAGE slapped Eric Stonestreet and Guy Pearce in the face, and carried off with a Best Supporting Actor Globe. And Jessica Lange, for her effectively over-the-top work in “American Horror Story,” received the Best Supporting Actress trophy over Sofia Vergara, giving the world thousands of “she already has the REAL Golden Globes” jokes. (Her Pepsi ad ran every three seconds, right?)

Full list of TV winners and nominees and videos of Ricky Gervais’ better-than-2011’s opening monologue and Morgan Freeman’s bubble bath coffin clip after the jump.

Best Drama

Homeland

American Horror Story

Boardwalk Empire

Boss

Game of Thrones

Best Musical or Comedy

Modern Family

Enlightened

Episodes

Glee

New Girl

Best Actor in a Television Series — Drama

Kelsey Grammer – Boss as Tom Kane

Steve Buscemi – Boardwalk Empire as Nucky Thompson

Bryan Cranston – Breaking Bad as Walter White

Jeremy Irons – The Borgias as Pope Alexander VI

Damian Lewis – Homeland as Nicholas Brody

Best Actress in a Television Series — Drama

Claire Danes – Homeland as Carrie Mathison

Mireille Enos – The Killing as Sarah Linden

Julianna Margulies – The Good Wife as Alicia Florrick

Madeleine Stowe – Revenge as Victoria Grayson

Callie Thorne – Necessary Roughness as Dr. Danielle “Dani” Santino

Best Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy

Matt LeBlanc – Episodes as Matt LeBlanc

Alec Baldwin – 30 Rock as Jack Donaghy

David Duchovny – Californication as Hank Moody

Johnny Galecki – The Big Bang Theory as Leonard Hofstadter

Thomas Jane – Hung as Ray Drecker

Best Actress in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy

Laura Dern – Enlightened as Amy Jellicoe

Zooey Deschanel – New Girl as Jessica Day

Tina Fey – 30 Rock as Liz Lemon

Laura Linney – The Big C as Catherine Jamison

Amy Poehler – Parks and Recreation as Leslie Knope

Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Miniseries, or Television Film

Peter Dinklage – Game of Thrones as Tyrion Lannister

Paul Giamatti – Too Big to Fail as Ben Bernanke

Guy Pearce – Mildred Pierce as Monty Beragon

Tim Robbins – Cinema Verite as Bill Loud

Eric Stonestreet – Modern Family as Cameron Tucker

Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Miniseries, or Television Film

Jessica Lange – American Horror Story as Constance Langdon

Kelly Macdonald – Boardwalk Empire as Margaret Schroeder

Maggie Smith – Downton Abbey as Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham

Sofía Vergara – Modern Family as Gloria Delgado-Pritchett

Evan Rachel Wood – Mildred Pierce as Veda Pierce

Best Miniseries or Television Film

Downton Abbey

Cinema Verite

The Hour

Mildred Pierce

Too Big to Fail

Highlight of the night. Or would have been, if not for this little guy:

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