GQ recently interviewed the All-American Man, Nick Offerman, who I would pay an amount of money that doesn’t exist yet to have him man my BBQ grill just once, and it’s the perfect pre-Independence Day read. I also now feel like a mess of not only a man, but a human being, when compared to the greatness that is Offerman, who recently went on the road to pass on his ten secrets to life to college kids across the country.
You strike me as a guy who has a powerful code for behaving properly. Are there some rules you could share with GQ‘s readers?
I would say, first of all, be prepared. I can’t say enough about that. Right now I’m traveling in New York City, but I still have my Swiss army knife on me. I grew up among farmers in Illinois and so you always have to have the tools you might need in the eventuality of a flat tire or a broken window. In the traditional role of man, it falls to you to keep the weather out and fish in the boat. (Via)
Next time someone tells you to put away that knife, sir, this is a funeral, respond, “Oh, it’s cool: Ron Swanson told me I could have it. Now let’s ditch this place and find somewhere that sells spinning meat.” More goodies below.
Any other rules before we go on?
Yes. Learn to do something with your hands. Ladies and men alike find handcrafting to be really sexy. When I met Megan, I was building a set for the play we were doing, and she saw me with my tool belt for a month. I would be a fool to think that didn’t have some effect on her hormonal decision.
They must have the weirdest/greatest sex life. I bet slip-joint pliers are involved somehow.
And then that whole thing with NBC firing Community creator Dan Harmon.
It was crazy, but not surprising. Dan has been notoriously difficult with NBC. And then he had that really public Chevy Chase feud. I think Dan is brilliant, but we all kind of hung our heads and thought, That’s no way for a boss to behave.
An honest, accurate answer: Nick Offerman is The Best. Seriously, read the whole thing.