OH MY GOD, HOW SHOCKING

02.17.10 7 years ago 18 Comments

Today in news that’s so unexciting I can barely muster the energy to make a dismissive wanking motion, some of the people on “Jersey Shore” don’t have Italian bloodlines.

[In] an appearance on FoxNews.com’s hit Web show, “The Strategy Room,” Jenni “JWOWW” Farley revealed that she and some of the other cast members are not actually Italian!

Farley herself is “Spanish and Irish,” while castmate Snooki is actually Chilean. [Fox411]

Whoa, that’s so utterly mind-blowing I had to sit down to yawn. You mean “Farley” isn’t an Italian name? Are we sure JWOWW’s great-great-grandfather “Ferli” didn’t have his name misspelled at Ellis Island?

As for Snooki, who the hell knows? She might be Italian, she might not. Right now our only evidence that she isn’t is JWOWW saying that she isn’t. And while I dig JWOWW ‘s stripper-inspired wardrobe and her psychotic episodes while drinking, I wouldn’t give her the title of Expert Genealogist just yet. For all we know, JWOWW’s claim comes from getting drunk on mudslides with Snooki at Chili’s.

Hey, speaking of Italian mudslides…

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