“And for News Late-Afternoon, this is Guy Guyerson, signing off. We’re sending you over to News Night for tonight’s top stories.”
“Hello, my name is Will McAvoy and welcome to News Night. Before we begin tonight, I’d like to take a moment to clarify some rampant, flagrant rumors that have recently been spread about myself, specifically regarding my opinions on this once-great country of ours. This thing we take for granted, this thing we call America.
“What I said — namely that America, which is falling behind Japan and Canada in prominence…Canada, folks…is now nothing more than flaming, molding dung heap, with even more shit piled upon it each and every day, thanks to the verbal and online excretions from the most lowly of the lowest, bloggers, who are single-handedly doing more damage to her increasingly claustrophobic skies than my generation and my father’s generation and my father’s father’s generation did combined, with their slander and The Google, to say nothing of the fact that while we fought for what we believed in, judged and led only by our internal moral compasses, the miscreants of today, the ones part of our Worst. Generation. Ever., are more interested in taking the advice of bloggityblog69 than from revered great men who know the facts; where their hunches come from being slouched over a computer, ours were earned through hard work — is true. This is Will McAvoy. TOLD YA.”
/finishes fapping on a picture of Mount Rushmore
“Um…you didn’t cover any of the news…Will? Will?”
“He left, ma’am.”
“Well, we need someone out there.”
“How about our online journalist Tad McCoolFace? He’s popular with the kids on Twitface.”
“Getting him ready now.”
/pushes Tad in front of the camera
“LOLZ LOLZ MY BFF P-OSWALT IZ GONNA B ON THE NEWSROOM, HBO’S BOOBIE-LESS SHOW.”
HBO‘s The Newsroom has added Rosemarie DeWitt and Patton Oswalt to the cast heading into Season 2. Both will play recurring roles on the show, from creator/executive producer Aaron Sorkin and exec producer Scott Rudin. DeWitt will play Rebecca Halliday, a litigator who’s been hired to defend Atlantis in a multimillion-dollar wrongful-termination suit. Oswalt is playing Jonas Pfeiffer, the new Vice President of Human Resources of ACN. (Via)
But seriously, I can’t wait to see how The Newsroom handles the presidential election in the season finale.