And now, ladies and gentlemen, the instant-classic viral video that will end all the annoying talk about “Lost”: Kung Fu Bear. This is supposedly unaltered footage from a Japanese zoo where a bear wields a large stick like a bo. As much as I want to call “fake” on it, I can’t for the life of me spot any digital manipulation. I think that this video is the real deal: bears really ARE learning kung fu. My God, can you imagine if they had opposable thumbs? We’d become enslaved and harvested for food before morning.
In an attempt to make this TV-related, I predict that we see this bear on a “Threat Down” segment on “The Colbert Report”
by the end of the week as soon as new episodes air. We’re gonna see a lot of this bear in general, I think. Like on the news when it breaks out of the zoo. And our nightmares. Outside our window, breaking in with a large stick. Fighting off an army of Agent Smiths in the Matrix. And so on.