Ranking Our Favorite Complaints The FCC Received About Miley Cyrus’s VMAs Performance

By: 09.13.13  •  64 Comments
robin-miley

Us normal people, we complain about things on Twitter, to our friends, and in the comments sections of websites dedicated to Breaking Bad and occasionally other TV shows. We rarely do anything about the thing we’re upset about, because the things we’re upset about rarely matter. Or we’ll move onto something else to bitch about after a day, and the cycle starts a-new. Think about how mad you have to be to actually do something, about the number of steps it takes to go from watching a dumb awards show on MTV to being so shocked and appalled that you file an official complaint with the FCC about the horrors you just saw. Eh, I’d rather GIF it.

Lucky for those of us who know which battles are worth fighting for (BRING BACK ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT … wait, they did what?), there are those who live their lives constantly on the lookout for something to be offended by. Many, many, many people were angered by Miley Cyrus’s VMAs performance, and many, many of the many, many, many wrote to the FCC, the list of which the Smoking Gun obtained. Here are some of our favorites.

#15. “GOOD HEAVENS.”

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#14. “I suggest 12 months in a convent!”

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#13. She likes it ruff.

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#12. “Giggling her buttock.”

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#11. Willow Smith only whips her hair, NOT her butt.

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#10. People are always confusing Janet and La Toya.

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#9. “Compelled to bury her head under the covers.”

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#8. “Flicking that tongue as deamons do” is a great Lil Wayne lyric.

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#7. My new favorite superhero, He Butt.

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#6. It was still good pornography.

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#5. THANKS OBAMA.

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#4. The Tale of Slutty Cyrus.

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#3. “Licking the butt of a stuff bear.”

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#2. Well said.

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#1. And finally, a sad story.

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