Russia Is Really, Really Good At Commercials

05.20.13 9 Comments

Okay. So. A few things.

1) Earlier this morning we received an email in the UPROXX tips account with the subject line “The world’s first stop motion commercial with real dogs!” No one in the history of computers has clicked on anything as fast as I clicked on that email. As fast? Maybe. But not faster.

2) It got even better once I opened the email, which turned out to be a promotional blast from someone associated with the production. Here is the first paragraph:

The video is taken for Russian mobile operator Beeline and talks about how to recharge your phone account directly from your phone. But what’s the trick? (Rus. aphorism: Where is the dog buried?) How to recharge your phone account directly from your phone? The instruction and the flying dog are in the video.

“The instruction and flying dog are in the video.” You now have my complete, undivided attention, Russian PR email.

3) And sure enough, I clicked on the link and “the instruction and flying dog” were in the video. Sort of. I should explain.

4) This is a Russian cell phone commercial. The gist of it — I think — is that a company named Beeline has a new program that allows you to sync your bank account and cell phone plan so you can pay your bill directly from your phone. To illustrate this, they depict a dog burying a bone, getting sucked up by the Earth, splashing into the ocean in scuba gear, turning into a dogsicle when the whole ocean freezes, washing up on the beach, thawing, getting sucked up by the Earth again, falling through the sky, and ending up right back where he started. It’s kind of like Homeward Bound crossed with an M.C. Escher painting crossed with a wheelbarrow full of LSD. It is amazing. You need to watch it.

5) It ends with the dog looking at the camera with the bone in his mouth, and an English subtitle on the bottom of the screen that says “That’s the trick. (Rus.: Here is the dog buried!),” which, I suppose, is meant to answer the question that they raised in the email. Now, I did a little research on this – because ????????? — and it turns out that the phrase “Where is the dog buried?” is a fairly common saying in Russia that people use when they are trying to find the source of a problem. This should tell you everything you need to know about Russia.

Beeline Tricky Dog from mfive on Vimeo.

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Brian Grubb is the Editor-at-Large of Uproxx, focusing mostly on television, heists, and big silly movies about things exploding.

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